I've come a long way in my life. I went from thinking I wasn't worthy enough and walking with my head down afraid to look people in the face to confidence in myself. Being adopted did a number on me and the things I experienced so young took a toll on me, but the one thing people continuously did to me growing up was give up. Giving up on me because they felt there was no hope, or they thought I was too damaged. I don't know everything, but I do know quitting is one of the worse things anyone can do. Writing my book about my life, sharing all the terrors of my past and into my present, has been the hardest thing I've ever tried to do.
The process of getting published has proved to be even harder. I've had to fight through so much... I've never seen an industry so gangsta like the publishing, editors and literary agents industry. It's a whole new world of survival of the fittest. You have to fight, give blood, sweat and tears and ultimately... you have to realize you are not amazing until to make someone believe you are. It doesn't matter if what you wrote will touch a nation, or if it's the best most well put together story ever. What matters is if you can sell yourself. Selling yourself to a crowd of people as well as a literary agent. I had to educate myself on the entire process, buy book, research on line. Along the way I created what I believe is a pretty damn good query letter and book proposal, but will it be enough to get my book published? I hope so. And if it's not, I will work even harder to make changes and do what I need to make my dream come true.
An Ex literary agent told me that you have to be willing to receive a thousand no's before you are ready to receive a yes. So as I've sent out my first 30 query letters to agents, I have humbly received six no's and I am okay with that. If at the end of this I only get one yes, I will be happy, and if I get all no's, I will go back to my drawing board, figure out what I'm doing wrong, and I will try again. It's exhausting, and it's a true dedication, but this is my dream. IF I give up, if I quit... I will be quitting on myself. As a person who has been given up on by others, I know how it feels and I know giving up on myself would be worse than what I've ever felt before. So I will NEVER quit on my self, or my dream. I will keep going and keep fighting until someone listens to me. Until someone says YES!
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